Happily Ever After: The Stuart family values I
by Katherine NotGreat
Summary: London,1928 24 years after PP . If Mrs Wendy had some spare time to keep a diary, it would be something like this...OK, meet the Stuarts!
1. Morning

_**Happily ever After: The Stuart Family Values**_

Or 24 Years After "Peter Pan" Events

_**Part One: An ordinary Day of Wendy Stuart nee Darling.**_

**Setting: London, year 1928 A.D.**

_Personae:_

**Wendy Moira Angela Stuart, nee Darling (aged 36) – **mother of the family and mistress of the household.

**James Matthew Stuart, **formerly known incertain circles as **Captain Hook, **now a teacher of English language and literature at boys' school**(aged 59) – **Wendy's husband and father to her children.

_**Their children:**_

**Jane Gertrude (aged 14)**

**Michael George (aged 8)**

**Mary Anne (11 months)**

**Nana the 12****th**** – **their dog, a descendant of the eminent Nana that belonged to the Darlings

**Brimstone **and** Gall - **domestic turtles

**Molly – **a part-time housemaid

**Aunt Millicent Wilkes (65) – **Wendy's maiden aunt, specializing in Good Form

**John Darling (34) – **Wendy's younger brother, a banker susceptible to the neighbours'opinions.

_Note: Wendy's youngest brother Michael died while doing his patriotic duty in the World War 1__st_

_Her parents are also deceased, not surviving the "Spanish" flu epidemic of 1918-1919._

_The rest of the family are now fortunately in good health._

**02 AM – **Mary Anne is stirring in her bed. Gave her some milk and rocked her back to sleep.

Said prayers for my family (I'm awake, anyway, so why waste my only free time?), then went to check Jane and Michael in the nursery

**02-35 **No one - thank God - flew away (_yet). _All is quiet (For how long, I wonder?). Went back to bed.

**04-00 **James is having a nightmare again. This time he managed to awaken the Reeds ( the 1st floor) and the Middletons (the 3d floor) with his shrieks, but Mary Anne (in our bedroom) never made a single noise…

**04-05 **Calmed him down, chased away the croc (virtually speaking) and persuaded to get back to sleep. Perhaps Michael shouldn't drag his dad to the Zoo THAT often ???

**06-00 **Got a kick from my guardian angel – time to get up! (For obvious reasons we don't use alarm clocks in our bedroom…)

**06-10 **Saying the morning prayers on my way to bathroom. Turning on the boiler while washing myself with cold water (once again thanked our dear Daddy for forcing us into healthy habits).

**06-20 **Came to kitchen to find our little menagerie near the stove waiting for their daily bread.

**06-25 **Smacked Nan (naughty puppy!) for snatching Brimstone's and Gall's lettuce. Gave the latter ones her sausage instead (sweet revenge!)

**06-30 **Cooking breakfast, making out the shopping list for today (Nan, spit it out !) and planning the revision of my…pardon…of James' novel (still in progress). Brimstone, get out of Nan's bowl AT ONCE!

**07-00 **Trying to wake up Jane and Michael.

**07-02 **Why nobody informed me I'm a voice-in- the- desert-on-duty for today?

**07-03 **Tried to cock-a-doodle-doo in Peter-style. No success.

**07-05 **Well, kids,you asked for it…AVAAAAAAAAAAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**07-10 **Jane and Michael are already doing morning exercises (after getting up, dressing and making their beds). What a pleasure to have such obedient children!

**07-20 **Heard a heartbreaking shriek from the bathroom

**07-21 **It's Jane who has just discovered a pimple on her face.

**07-25 **Trying to talk Jane into leaving bathroom and suicidal thoughts.

**07-26** No way!

**07-27 **Still sitting at the bathroom doors together with much- awaken-already James and Mary Anne.

**07-30 **James (whose patience had never been his strong point) threatens to Jane he is going to the entresol searching for his notorious Tool That Is Not To Be Named…

**07-31 **Goodness gracious, he'll make such a mess in the entresol I won't be able to fix untill evening! No, this is NOT going to happen!!!

**07-35 **While James and I were having a little argument concerning the entresol, Mary Anne got wet, and Jane, humming maliciously "_My heart belongs to Daddy"_, left the bathroom with great dignity.

**07-45 **Finally got to the table for breakfast

Mary Anne, honey, one more spoonful….

Michael, don't champ, for goodness' sake !

Jane, what diet are you talking about????? I'm not letting you to starve, by all means!

James, darling, let me cut this omelet myself – I cannot watch you torturing it any longer!

Nan, KEEP YOUR PLACE!!! (the insolent puppy stole Jane's sandwich before the latter could adjust ideas about the diet…)

**07-56 **No, darling, Mary Anne cannot eat sausages yet! If **your **parents hadn't been overindulgent when you were her age, perhaps the outcome would have been quite different….

**07-58 **Michael George Stuart, while you are solving the world's greatest problems, your porridge is about to be as appetizing as Great-Aunt Millicent's biscuits !

**08-00 **Jane and Michael are getting ready for school. Mary Anne is having a crawling race with Brimstone and Gall.

James, that's not your shirt, it's Jane's school blouse – don't you see those frills? – so stop making efforts to squeeze yourself into it….

What's the meaning of "this-skirt-is really-too -long", Jane Gertrude??? I dare say some of your school girlfriends' viewpoints are rather too short…

Michael, my boy, your school bag is heavy enough WITHOUT Father's telescope. I'm sure you are not THAT short-sited to see what Mr. Collins is writing on the blackboard.

James, I'm happy today is your day off but I really can cope with those dishes myself…Take care, darling, that is….

Er….that WAS actually Aunt Millicent's favourite cup…Never mind, I hope "old girl" (as you insist on calling her when she's not around) won't choose to surprise us with her visit today…

**08-10 **Jane and Michael are off to school (at last!) and James – to the study to do his paperwork.

**08-11 **Looking at the calendar –what possible holiday can be today to prevent Molly from coming ? (Our housemaid firmly believes that to work on holidays – no matter religious or civil – is a deadly sin…)

**08-12 **Mary Anne,please stop tormenting Gall, that's a good girl! Poor creature soes need some privacy…

MARY ANNE SPIT IT OUT AT ONCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**08-20 **A phone call from Molly. Her uncle's sister's niece has got chickenpox , so (as she was happy to announce) the whole family (who by the way lives in Kent) happens to be in quarantine at present. An unfortunate but not altogether unexpected situation…(Language, darling – 10 points from your House!)

**09-00 **Trying to do all the domestic chores at once with Mary Anne's dubious help. James is grading his pupil's essays while speaking out loud his thoughts concerning the boys' IQs (Another 10 points , heart's dearest!)

**11-00 – **Change of scenery – we are about to finish our novel today (if God and Mary Anne let us) and start typing the final version (I just enjoy it – being so Mina Murray-ish!). My love, I still wonder why you had chosen such a fright of a pen name…

TBC 


	2. Day

**11-01…**but perhaps you were right – if your true family tree, let alone the date of birth, were revealed, it would even today set the country – and, which is more important, our household! – in a blaze (just imagine all those newspapermen (and women) sneaking in our flat!!!)

**11-10 **Mary Anne is merrily tapping the keys of the typewriter that HAD been in a good state only a few days ago….

**11-15 **OK. Let's try to concentrate one more time – it's the final version, after all… _"All the children grow up except.._QWERTYUIOP{}}ASDFG…**MARY ANNE STOP IT AT ONCE!!!!**

**11-30 **Darling, are you quite sure we have to leave ALL your angsty reflections in the novel? Haven't you by chance forgotten that the book is to published under the title "Peter Pan", not " Anna Karenina" or, even worse, "Les Miserables" ?

**11-40 **A deal, then – you make them twice shorter whereas I make the same with the description of our make-believe happy family with The Boy Who Lived To Make Your Life A Living Hell…

**11-50 **No James, I beg you, not a single word about our own love story for this novel – THE BOOK IS FOR CHILDREN, for goodness' sake! We'll go bankrupt if the parents find out that "the good girl" went and married the "bad guy" …

**11-55 **Enough literary attempts for today – two writers in one family is really TOO much – sorry for the word-play.

**12-00**_ Cheri, _Mary Anne and I are going out to do the shopping and then straight off to school to meet Michael. Lunch? What lunch? Ah, lunch…I do believe in your cooking capabilities, my love (indeed, you hadn't been called "the only man the sea-cook feared" for no reason…) See you later!

**12-25 **We've had quite a race , considering all those bundles in Mary Anne's pram! While waiting for Michael, I noticed several young schoolteachers whispering in the corner and giving me dubious looks. As if I had a poster " Beware of the Only Person Captain Jas. Hook Had Ever Feared" on my back!

**12-30 **Michael came out at last (and his class teacher, Mr. Collins, as well. The later mentioned in his usual unctuously manner that he could over look our son's absent-minded ways (oh, Michael, I told you not to let your drawings appear in your maths exercise-book!) if my husband could give Miss Collins private lessons…The idea of that giggling and simpering blonde outdoing herself to seduce my husband who is old enough to be her grandfather is rather trying for me, but of course I put on my best smile and assured him we'll cope quite well (Sorry, James, but there _**is**_ economic recession in Britain, and you are still under delusion the five of us manage to make both ends meet on your salary alone…)

**13-00 **Having a walk with the kids in Kensington Gardens – as a matter of fact, we walk here quite often – to look after a certain Wonder Boy's statue, and to make sure it hasn't been cut to pieces by devoted admirers…

**13-05 **Michael and Mary Anne are crawling on the grass among the bushes in search of fairies

**13-15 **Oh, but they did found something…or somebody?

**13-16 **Michael is holding a tiny creature with transparent wings and shouting "I believe in fairies, I do, I do, I do!"

**13-17 **Sorry,little ones, but this is not Tink, it's only a dragonfly…

**13-18 **Took away the dragonfly from Mary Anne, who was trying to deprive the poor creature of its wings.

**13-19 **Mary Anne started wailing in indignation.

**13-20 **A rabbit scared out of its wits by her shrieks rushed away from the bushes.

**13-25 **Michael and Mary Anne are chasing the rabbit who's running for its life.

**13-30 **Hooray, the rabbit has won the race!

**13-35 **Noticed three girls, who are approaching our spot, whispering to one another and giggling in a rather stupid manner. What a relief to know that our own girl…

**13-36 **IS AN UTTER FAILURE AT CHOOSING HER FRIENDS!!! (Oh, Lord, again that Kathy Holmes, that had managed to convince half the school that she's a grand-niece of the celebrate Baker-street detective, and, of all people, _Lucy Harker – _what good can possibly come out of mixing with the granddaughter of the notorious lawyer and daughter of a psychoanalyst and a former midwife, now a well-known suffragette?)

**13-40 **My dears, you're just in time! How could we possibly take all those bundles home with no means of transport except for Mary Anne's pram…(Well, they aren't girl- scouts for no reason, are they?)

**13-45 **Why do people always keep staring at us while we are going home? Is it because of our too loud humming "Let My People Go" or are they just wondering how we had managed to produce triplets so unlike one another?

**13-50 **Thanks a lot, dear girls, "a friend in need is a friend indeed"…Are you leaving so soon? Next time you visit us I could train you more in housekeeping… And one more thing : Jane WON'T go out tonight, just for you to know…

**13-55 **_Cheri, _we are home at last! Oh, with this dinner you really surpassed my boldest expectations! I knew all the way that no sea-cook could ever stand up to my husband!

**14-15 **Having dinner.

**14-20 **Mary Anne, honey, that's Mummy's watch, give it back, that's a good girl…

**14-21 **Our youngest gives me a mischievouslook beforedrowning thewatch in her soup.

**14-22 **Michael quickly takes the watch from her and gives her a fillip on the nose.

**14-23 **More wailing ensues…

**14-30 **James, I don't think it was a good idea to give her my acorn on the silver chain instead of the watch…

**14-31 **Before he could answer, my souvenir disappeared in the pudding…

**14-40 **Everyone is eating his/her part of the pudding while searching diligently for my acorn in his/her plate.

**14-45 **No need to be so dramatic, my dear – here comes Nan with a silver chain in its teeth…

**14-50 **Sorry, Jane, but today is your turn to wash the dishes (no bargains, young lady – I'll NEVER allow you to make such a hideous haircut as your friends'!)

**14-55 **James, if you help Michael with his homework while I put Mary Anne to sleep, I'll be the happiest woman alive!

**15-00 **Oh, yes, you are right – it's our great luck there were no SPLINTERS in our plates in stead of acorns….

**15-40 **Mary Anneis asleep, the other children are doing homework (or are at least supposed to be doing..) Nan is chasing Brimstone and Gall across the yard.

**15-45 **Doing the washing. Mrs. Middleton is tapping at our wall – even her nearly-deaf husband can hear James and Michael trying to do the sum…

**16-00 **In the kitchen** - **sorting our purchases, cooking and ironing simultaneously. Brimstone and Gall are chasing Nan across the yard.

**16-05 **Mrs. Reedgot fed up with their activitiesand chased all of them away .

**16-15 **Poor James! He evidently by now found out himself how to do this wretched sum….

**16-20 **HOORAY – Michael found it out too!!! (nearly dropping the hot iron from overwhelming emotions…)

**16-25 **While we were expressing our joy, Mary Anne woke up and made her bed wet…

**16-30 **Jane is too quiet : either I am being paranoid, or she is really up to something…


	3. Evening

**17-00 **Teatime. Scent of muffins and vague tension in the air.

**17-01 **Unfortunately, I was right about Jane – off all things, she's now trying to convince James to let her go to some JAZZ party to hear a popular composer (OMG, as if she doesn't know that the very word 'jazz" makes her father furious!!!)

**17-05 **Just as I thought – James is already out of patience (not that patience had ever been his strong point…)

**17-06 **Jane already in tears, shouting she'll go pleading to all authorities possible, including His Majesty, and perhaps also the League of Nations, in order to have her own way.

**17-08 **_Cheri, _what is that you are saying? So it was me who had always been overindulgent towards the children??? Perhaps, you also think me to be not a very good mother ???!!!

**17-09 **Had it been true, _mon capitaine, _I loathe to mention it, but you'd have still been searching, as ever, for a certain Wonder Boy on a non-existent island (playing a sort of silly Tom&Jerry role game) instead of having a row with your family….in MY flat, by the way….

**17-10** Sorry, darling, I didn't mean it…(OK, didn't mean _all _of it!).

**17-12 **James grumbles he forgives me as a Christian and is now stirring the porridge with a somewhat morose expression.

**17-13 **Mary Anne is solving the dilemma whether to cry or not, while Michael is making his best to have the look of being absorbed in his homework.

**17-14 **Having heard a final decided "No" Jane furiously throws a random package onto the wall and storms out of the kitchen towards the nursery.

**17-15 **Rice all over the kitchen floor.

**17-20 **All family members (except for Jane) are crawling on their knees picking up the precious product.

**17-21 **James mutters from under the table that to be the head of this crazy family, a man must be either a saint or (at least) at once deaf, blind and dumb.

**17-25 **Oh, yes, dear Auntie, we did forget to lock the door. Again.

**17-26 **No, Auntie, we are NOT making a rice plantation here!

**17-27 **Oh, but your hair is soaking…is it raining that hard out?

**17-28 **MICHAEL GEORGE STUART!!!!!!!PREPARE TO MEET THY DOOM!!!!!

**17-29 **And don't dare to tell me it was all Mary Anne's doing!!!!

**17-30 **Yes, Auntie, we ARE glad to see you… Oh, please, don't sit….

**17-31**… down on this chair (Um…Mary Anne has evidently been here…and forgottten about her pot completely…)

**17-32 **Had to lend Aunt Millicent one of my skirts.

**17-38 **Brimstone and Gall, get out! (No, Auntie, James just suggested the turtles left the kitchen…)

Doing needlework. Aunt Millicentinterrogating Michaelabout his future career plans. (Sonny, don't you dare tell her you wish to be a pirate like Daddy!)

Michael answers he wishes to become the Duke of Monmouth, and later on, perhaps, the Prince of Wales (if he's lucky enough)….

Aunt Millicent was, to put it mildly, impressed. (James, our boy does make progress in history, but still, you'd better pay more attention to his exact sciences…)

**17-45 **Jane finally makes her appearance. Dressed and made up as a cabaret singer from the" Jekyll & Hyde" musical (what was her name? Lucy? Oh, but why does it always have something to do with Lucy???)

**17-46 **A dumb show.

**17-47** Aunt Millicent faints, landing, unfortunately, on Gall.

**17-48 **Trying to save Gall from under Aunt's body

**17-49 **Fussing over Aunt , all of us, except for James, who, with a stoic look, is dragging a loudly protesting Jane into the bathroom)

**17-50 **Auntie still unconscious.. Oh, my goodness, what are we to do???

**17-55 **James comes in with athe pistol which has been hanging on the study wall for almost sixteen years, and shoots upwards

**17-56 **Aunt Millicent jumps up at once, screaming: "Oh, Lord save us, the Germans are already in London!!!"

**17-57 **General mayhem.

**17-58 **John appears on the threshold and is speechless, stunned by our merry Bedlam (No wonder, having only one child, and a very proper girl, too!)

**17-59 **On hisway to the kitchenJohn eventually steps on the leftovers of Mary Anne's apple and has a big fall…

**18-00 **James lifts him, explaining by the way that we have long ago ceased to care about what our neighbours say or think…

**18-01 All **of us are fixing the kitchen.

**18-30 **Having dinner at last! (Even Nan, Brimstone and Gall, despite their numerous transgressions). James and Auntie are peacefully discussing the Lake Poets.

**19-30 **An evening of wonders, indeed – James and Jane playing Hershwin's "Summertime" (three-hands and a harpsichord), I'm singing Clara's part…

**19-40 **A burst of applause after recovery from a minor shock

**19-50 **John solemnly promises to take all of us out to cinema tomorrow. As if Charlie Chaplin were more funny than our small family gatherings!

**20-00 **Auntie takes her leave (and taking Jane's copy of "Phantom of the Opera" with her, in order to get to know modern culture better)

**20-30 **James takes Mary Anne, who is already asleep, to her bed. Other children drink their milk, say their prayers, go to bathroom and fall on their beds earlier than I manage to open the story book…

**21-00** Darling please, the nursery window should ALWAYS be open….

**21-05 **…but not ours…

**21-15 **Yes,my love,to live with you** is **really an Awfully Big Adventure…

**21-20 **I mean it!

**21-21 **May Lord bless us all and let us see the day to come…

**21-25. **Coming,_mon capitaine…_

**21-35 **Brimstone and Gall! WHAT IS THIS LETTUCE DOING UNDER OUR PILLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE REST IS SILENCE

**FINITA LA COMEDIA**


End file.
